Do you really know what you're made of?

Look at a man in the midst of doubt and danger and you will learn in his hour of adversity what he really is.  - Lucretius, Roman philosopher

It's easy to stay true to our values when life is sunny. But because sometimes hope disappears, options run out, and bright days can turn dark, all you can really count on to be there is your own inner strength. These low points are chances to learn what you're capable of when you refuse to be knocked down for good. You may not be able to choose your hardships or options. But you do have the power to face what you're given with high character. Trust yourself and your instincts, and your best will come forward. Think about the last time you had the choice to fold under pressure or to rise to the occasion. How might you have handled it a little differently? If there's room for improvement, what actions would have made you more proud of yourself?

Oddly enough I was thinking about being an adult this morning. And how I have become one. Kind of unexpectedly.

I'm 40 and have never felt like an adult. I mean, really, what does being an adult feel like? I figured since mom is still alive and I don't have kids that maybe I'd skate through life without ever having to be one.

But as I lay in bed this morning I realized I felt like an adult.

There have been obstacles in my life these last few weeks that required I rise to the occasion. It wasn’t easy and I’ve had to tap into some inner strength I haven’t needed in a long time.

It would have been very easy for this time to have knocked me down, pushed me back into depression, but it didn’t. Instead it’s proven that I’m an adult.

Someone who steps up when no one else seems to. Someone who could swallow the tears when a loved one diseased with Alzheimer’s tries to bite or hit. Someone who could care for a dog vomiting bile like he was my own.

It’s been a hard month. One filled with tears and sadness. Putting a loved one into a nursing home. And leaving her there. Watching my mom see a friend of 53 years cease to be herself. Begging a sweet, sweet dog not to die before “dad” got home.

Maybe these are average life events, but I saw myself rise to the occasion and do the right thing. No matter how hard. And I’ve grown because of it. Sidled my way into true adulthood.

Sucks.

So tomorrow I go to  to see if I can play / shop / sunbathe / drink/ gamble my way back to being a non-adult.