21 posts tagged “friends”

I went to see my old therapist yesterday. The one who helped me through to the other side of depression. I made the appointment at the suggestion of my primary doctor since she initially thought the heart stuff might be anxiety related. She'd since told me, "This is not in your brain, this is real," but I decided to keep the appointment anyway.

I'd not seen her for a couple years, so it was nice to sit down and chat. The timing was perfect since I got to tell her about my promotion -- she'd coached me through some dark days in my last department.

As we began to close the session, she concurred that I seem to be handling life's stresses well. That I am able to work through them and let them go. That bygones are bygones and I don't dwell on it.

So yesterday I had a friend make a comment that hurt my feelings. And I am so dwelling on it. She's a good friend so I know it was a totally innocuous statement on her part. But it felt like she'd smacked me. Just now I was lying in bed thinking about it. Willing myself to get over it and move on. Telling myself in my heart that she meant well and surely I've said things the wrong way and should just let it go. I finally decided maybe writing about it would help.

I had dinner with an old friend tonight. We've always been forthright with each other. We talk openly about depression and faith and other topics I wouldn't dare so deeply venture into with anyone else.

Tonight he shared a piece of his past with me. A private, painful part of his life. In that moment all the puzzle pieces snapped together and everything about him made perfect sense.

I thanked him for telling me.  I'm honored that my friendship is worthy of his trust.

Would y'all do me a favor? My movie friend Jeff is at it again. I received this email today:

My friend went home today after they took out her staples. Her older daughter is going to stay with her, but I'm pretty sure she will get the boot over the weekend. Her mother definitely likes her privacy.

So, how did this start you ask?

Well, with just feeling a little puny. She would feel exhausted after mowing her front yard (not large) and wouldn't be able to do the back yard till the next day. When she really pushed herself she would have a cramp in her lower abdomen.

They determined she was very anemic and put her on iron, which started to correct the fatigue issue. Then when the cramping didn't go away, they did an MRI, which led to a colonoscopy. During the colonoscopy they found a tumor. The results from that came while I was in Orlando. It was 10 days between cancer results and the visit with the surgeon. That was last Tuesday and Friday she had the surgery.

She seems to be doing really well. Her spirits are good and she was laughing with mom and I last night (which hurt, of course!). She is very direct like I am, so we communicate well in that sense. I asked a few questions last night that she asked of the oncologist today (who has come to see her every day, good sign). She's not decided about the experimental stuff yet. At home she'll be able to do some Internet research to help with that decision process.

And how I am, you wonder?

My mom told me yesterday that I sounded down and asked if I was ok. I wanted to say, Well, der, why do you think I'm down? But instead I said, I'm fine. "Really?" Yes, I'm fine.

And I am. Fine. But it's a given that anytime anyone thinks I'm not fine based on my writing, feel free to point it out. I'm good with that.

My friend looked pretty damn good today considering she had pretty major surgery yesterday. Good color. The appropriate gurgling, burping and farting are on schedule. Her spirits are good and the pain is being managed.

Surgery went well. About 90 minutes. They got all the tumor, plus extra that was sent to the Path lab. Today is a holiday here, so it won't be back till next week. She'll be in the hospital 5-6 days now. Keep the positive ju-ju coming folks!

Yikes. I am so bloated my stretch capri's are at their max! Turns out the doctor's office had the wrong fax number. Hope that gets itself fixed pronto.

My friend has surgery in the morning for her colon cancer. Please include her in your prayers, good vibes or whatever you believe in. Thanks.

Well, we got to the doctor's office only to find mom was not scheduled for an appointment, plus the doctor and his wife had been hijacked by American, so he wasn't even in today. We now have an appointment for 12:15p tomorrow. Poor mom, she told me she didn't realize how worried she was until she was driving over and felt like throwing up.

On Friday, my friend was diagnosed with colon cancer. One of my favorite people in the whole world died 10 years ago from colon cancer. I know things are different today, etc . . . But, my favorite person was 58 when she died. My friend will be 58 this year. That's too damn close.

So one of my best friends had a colonoscopy today. They found a tumor. They did a biopsy and she gets the results on Friday.

It was 8th grade. We were in the same History class. She joined us mid-year and we met because my friend was her cousin. One day we had a field trip to a local military base. She was sitting behind me as we waited for everyone to file back into our classroom. I thought I'd be nice and make conversation.

So, how long have you know Carolyn?

She looked at me funny, "Um, my whole life? (insert pause here because my airhead was showing) She's my cousin."

Oh, yeah.

And that's how I met my best friend.

I can't begin to tell you how many times I have thanked God for her. Her family. And today is one of those days.

She read the post about the porch. She recruited her construction guru brother-in-law to take on the project. He was going to go by mom's this afternoon (she was here) and measure the porch. When time allows he'll come put a wooden handrail in.

What a blessing from God. I'm still feeling very emotional about it. Grateful. For my not-by-blood, but because-of-love family.