14 posts tagged “life”

So, have I mentioned lately that I am going to Africa? Because I am. In 64 days, to be exact.

Anyway. I am feeling better. I tried upping the Wellbutrin when I remembered why I stopped the first time. My tinnitus gets really loud. Like wake me up loud. I didn't realize until I did some poking around that not everyone has tinnitus. I honestly thought everyone has some level of it. Ringing in the ears. I also learned it can be some really weird noises, so I'm glad mine is just ringing.

I have it all the time. For as long as I remember. Every day life just drowns it out and I don't normally notice it unless the room is quiet (like at night, in bed). But with the Wellbutrin, I could hear it while I was watching TV. And the volume I needed to drown it out was annoyingly loud. So I backed off.

We're having a step contest at work, so I've been walking a lot each day. I imagine even that little bit of exercise is helping. And I've come to acknowledge that some issues with a friendship contributed to the episode. But I decided if my friend needs space, I can give that to her. I just hope she comes back around some day.

About two years ago, I had a friend I hasn't seen in a while move to Austin. She'd been out-of-state for several years, so we made plans a couple times to get together, but I canceled. I didn't know how to explain what I felt, so when I tried it made things bad and we're not friends anymore.

Things are back on an upswing. I know that if this continues to happen, the low-lows, that I need to talk with my doctor about it. I've been well enough for long enough periods of time to know that I don't need to feel that way.

Have you ever tried composting?  Any tips you can share?

No, but I would like too. Unfortunately I think my family 'o skunks would view that as their own personal buffet.

Who is ringing in the New Year with you?  Who do you wish could be with you, but isn't there?

Mom and I are doing dinner and maybe a movie with two friends tonight. We're starting early, so I don't imagine it will be a late night for us. Which is ok, because Cory has just not been the same since the robbery and I'm not sure how she will handle the noise.

I'd like to see National Treasure tonight. During my days off I've seen: Charlie Wilson's War, Enchanted, The Great Debaters and Margot at the Wedding. Gotta love vacation and free movie passes!

Which breed of dog is your favorite? Post a picture of it. 
Submitted by Melissa.

Well, that's easy!

Gigi

What's on your holiday wishlist?

Wish List.

Burt's Bees Lip Shimmer

Gold-colored earrings

Eating Well subscription

iTunes gift card

There was more on a gift list I gave to my best friend, but I don't remember what I'm forgetting.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. - Gilda Radner

Which person from your past, who you've lost touch with, do you wonder about the most? 
Submitted by ancora impara.

Curtis. We went to high school together. Then he went on to get a journalism degree and JD. Last I heard he is living in London. Which makes me smile because he told me that statistically he would be dead by 40. I'm glad he's not.

Mkay. Anyone else besides me having problems with QoTD? It's not worked normally for me since I got the iMac. Hmmm.

What are the 5 words that best describe your life right now?
Submitted by mojito.  

Simple. Disorganized. Wistful. Humdrum. Transitional.

What is your favorite day of the week?

Sundays. There's just something peaceful and tranquil about Sundays. I sleep in a little. Have my once-a-week Starbucks. Play on the computer. Eat lunch with mom. Watch a movie. Take a nap. Go to the grocery store. Read. Walk the dog. Watch my Godson play sports. Take an extra long shower or bath. Watch some cheesy TV (Desperate Housewives) and not-so-cheesy TV (Brothers & Sisters).

A day like today is nice. Sunny. Windows and doors open. Fresh air.

I woke up early (for me on a Sunday, anyway). Cory was being obnoxious, which woke Gigi, who woke me. It was 7:50a. I gave them the what-for about that, but got up and fed them, went to the bathroom, let Gigi out to pee, etc. Then I crawled back into bed and watched some TV. At 9a I turned the TV off and went back to sleep. Next thing I know it's 11:45a. You know how it is when you wake up and think, Oh I slept too long. Yeah, it felt like that.

The Secret

I've been reading The Secret. I saw a follow-up Oprah show on the book and how it's affected people who saw her first show on it. I thought it was interesting, so I paged through it at Borders.

It troubled me because it's all about what You can bring into your life. You, you, you (aka: me, me, me). Which is hard for me as a Christian, because I believe that all we have comes through God.

Then a story jumped out at me about one of the "teachers" always finding the best parking places. How he visualizes them and expects them and they are there. Well, that's me. People are always commenting on my "parking kharma." And it is because I visualize it, expect it and it's there. So I bought the book. Because I need to tinker on my rules of attraction.

Another interesting section to me talks about controling our own frequency, likening it to a TV. Well, I do that too. When I lay in bed at night and catch myself dwelling on something negative, I imagine a TV and I change the channel. I visualize an old style TV, the kind we had when we were kids where we had to get up out of our chair and change the channel.

While I get what the book has been saying, it still troubles me. The concept of me, me, me. And then I read my email this morning. I receive a daily Bible verse and it always amazes me when it applies to something I am going through:

 For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. ~ Matthew 7:8, NLT

AKA: The Secret. All good things do come from God, but we gotta ask first.

As far as funerals go, my Godmother's was one of the best I have ever been to. Her minister sat with us last night and listened to us tell stories. He did a fine job of gleaning information about her and incorporating it into a true tribute to her life. He truly captured her spirit (Feisty!).

There were some hard moments for mom. Especially when they closed the casket. But the service was so full of life, a true celebration of her. It was easy to laugh remembering the stories he shared, even though the difficult memories of these last few years will always linger.

I am waiting for the dam to crack. I've not lost it yet. I've shed some tears, but not cried. It sounds awful, but I am truly glad she is gone. She was so undeserving of the final years of her life. She was such a good woman. It was just not fair.

As the minister said, she is in heaven now, talking up a storm. Catching up on all the things she had to say these past few years. And when she is finished, she will pick up her brush and paint again, using the heavens as her canvass.