19 posts tagged “living an authentic life”
I've read a bucket load of books whose titles I've forgotten to track here. I wish the library had an "already read" view of my account.
Last night I finished The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Loved it. Highly recommend it.
Before that I finished The Year of Living Biblically. It's probably not for everyone because it can be irreverent, but wow did I learn a lot. I'm definitely going to move on to some of the books he used to determine how to live for the year.
One year ago today I took my last bite of a hamburger.
One year later I can say with conviction, I am a vegetarian.
Seafood was really the only thing I craved. Once my doctor encouraged me to eat fish for my heart, I jumped right in. Maybe a half-dozen times. But I just couldn't get past the this is an animal thought. It just felt wrong in my mouth. I'll have to discuss with my doctor other ways to get good oils for my heart.
I'm just as surprised as anyone that a year later I am still meatless. I was totally a "Real girls eat meat" kind of girl. Fajitas? Beef. Salad? Steak on top. Pizza? Pepperoni. I was definitely a carnivore.
It's been easier than I expected. I thought there would be many temptations. Many cravings to overcome. But that hasn't been the case. Occasionally I might smell something cooking and think that it smelled good, but there's never been a moment when I thought, maybe just a taste.
Now, if only I were a vegetarian who ate more veggies. ;-)
One thing I've learned over the past few weeks is that I was spending too much time in bed watching TV. With my bedroom TV gone, I've been forced to spend more time in the living room and other parts of the house. It's shown much how much time I was filling with nothing. I like my alone time. But there's got to more to my life than this.
I did a big thing today. I got rid of my second TV. The one that has been in my bedroom. Keeping me there. Making it easy to hibernate and not be active. Making it easier to ignore the mess that is my house because I could crawl into the cocoon and ignore it all.
So now my mom has a second TV.
I read this lovely story last week and it really inspired me to do something similar. It's about a family that gives a glass jar (think pickle sized) filled with money (mostly coins, some bills) accumulated over a year to someone they think might be in need.
I thought, Why can't I do that?
So I gathered up some baby food jars and am going to work to fill them with my change this year. I haven't decided if I will give them away as they are filled or if I'll wait till next Christmas to be a Santa of sorts.
I found this interesting post, but #2 in "The Best Things in Life Aren't Things" jumped out at me:
2. Make a "Declaration of Enough." Admit it. When you look over your shoe collection, it's enough to make Imelda Marcos blush. Isn't it time to distinguish what you want from what you need? We don't need something because we can afford it. We don't need something because advertisers tell us we need it.
I am actually an under-buyer, so my "Declaration of Enough" wouldn't be about shopping.
The post also reminded me of a devotion I received several months ago and talked about here. I'd thought I'd write about it then, but didn't.
Devotion:
A few months ago, my husband and I attended a Dave Ramsey seminar. Dave is known for his financial topics, but on that day he said something that I have been pondering ever since. Dave said that he taught his children in their teens to establish “no matter what’s” in life. He was referencing a situation in dating, but this principle could be applied to many different situations. I wondered what my “no matter what’s” are. After spending some time thinking about that, I thought perhaps I should share it here, so you could also be challenged to set up your “no matter what’s.”
In the area of finances, my husband and I have determined to never again go into debt, no matter what. This means going without and planning ahead. It means staying in a house that is cramped, and driving older cars. It means taking large portions of any money we receive and socking it into the debt we currently have until we have paid it off.
In the area of marriage, my husband and I are committed to each other, no matter what. This means letting some things go when I really want to say something. It means embracing each other’s insecurities and inadequacies. It means loving each other even when we don’t like each other. It means forgiveness in some pretty hard areas. We are married, no matter what. We are committed to that fact—even when we don’t feel very committed to each other.
Most importantly, I am focused on God, no matter what. God and His word are what I turn to for wisdom and instruction in how to do life. God provides my comfort and strength. He grows and stretches me when I need it. He rocks me in His arms when I need it. I find rest and hope in Him. I have learned what it means to lean on His everlasting arms, as the old hymn says. I must walk out His call on my life no matter what. As I have learned to do this, I have also learned I can rely on an unchanging God as the culture seems to spin faster out of control.
God has used my “no matter what’s” to shape who He wants me to be. I know, above all else, I will continue to stay focused on these “no matter what’s” as the future unfolds. Have you considered how your “no matter what’s” could affect the lives of others—your children, your co-workers, your spouse or your neighbor? Look at where God is leading in your life, and how He might use you to help someone else form some “no matter what’s” of their own.
Dear Lord, Please show me what my personal “no matter what’s” should be. I want to live a life of conviction and commitment to the things that matter. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
What is my personal "Declaration of Enough"? My "No Matter What's"? One for each come to mind.
Without calling it that, I made a "Declaration of Enough" when it came to sharing the holidays with my Godfather. I came to the point where I was tired of his racist, sexist jokes at the holiday dinner table. I got tired of him pouting when he wasn't the center of attention. Or pitching a tantrum when he thought people weren't listening to him (we had a choice?).
Finally, one year I said Enough. No More. This is my life and I should be able to spend it how I want with people I like. Now, it took a little while longer to drag my mom down the path with me, but we stand in solidarity now.
A "No Matter What" that I had to solidify in my mind this year was, I will not sleep with a married man. Now, this is something I have always known. It's inherent to who I am. At least I was pretty sure until the last year or so. Then it became something of a struggle. Something I had to work through. It was a surprise to me.
It all boils down to monogamy being important to me. And so it remains a "No Matter What" in my life.
Now, maybe I need to make a list for each?
From this week's newsletter by Cheryl Richardson:
It's that time of year when many of us get into the spirit of giving -- gifts, donations, our time, our love, or our kindness to others. It's a time when we tend to be more conscious of spreading good cheer and this week I have a way for you to do just that.
I received an email from a brave community member who was honest enough to admit that she had been alone for Thanksgiving and would be alone for
Christmas. She asked if I might be willing to send her a holiday card in the hopes of feeling more connected to others. I was touched by her request and quickly assured her that a card was in the mail. Then I got to thinking...What would happen if I asked everyone in this community to send her a card as a symbolic gesture of our common bond? Rather than receive one greeting from me, I smiled at the thought of her getting lots of cards at a time when she feels so alone. So, I wrote and asked for permission to share her address with you.
If you'd like to feel the joy of connection that comes from caring about another human being, please consider sending a card to Debra. Whether you write a little note, include a favorite quote, or simply sign your name,let's show her that she's not alone. Here's her address:
Debra Stevens
1202 E. Almeria Rd.
Phoenix, AZ 85006-2242And, as you consider this idea, you might think about the people in your life -- someone who may not have the courage to reach out -- and send him or her a message of hope, too. As our weekly quote says: "Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." I love that idea...
Happy Holidays to you and yours, and to all who need a reminder that we are never alone.
Three years ago, I set out to have 80 people send my mom a card for her 80th birthday. 110 cards later, I can tell you she was thrilled that people who didn't even know her would take the time to send her a card. I know it meant a lot to her, so how about everyone send a card to this nice lady too?
In no particular order:
Alaska
Drive the 1/101 up the California Coast
Jackson Hole, WY
The Grand Canyon
Portland, OR
Africa
Oaxaca, Mexico
Australia
Madrid, Spain
Paris, France
Florence, Italy
Jerusalem, Israel and other Biblical sites
Now, this is not an all-inclusive list. There are places I have been to that I would like to see again. And there are Duh! How Could I forget . . . places to be added.
I've added the Happiness Project to my Google Reader, because hey, who couldn't use more happiness in their lives, right?
Her instructions for Friday were to "make a list."
One thing I’ve noticed with my own Happiness Project is the power of making all sorts of lists. I’ve become zealous about keeping a to-do list. I've listed my ever-growing Secrets of Adulthood in the left column. I check my resolutions chart daily (email me at grubin {at} gretchenrubin {dotcom} if you’d like to see them).
Making these lists keeps me focused on my priorities. Reading the list over and over keeps my priorities uppermost in my mind. And it’s surprisingly FUN to do.
I’ve noticed all sorts of interesting approaches to these kinds of lists. A to-do list is the most common kind, but a list can be so much more. It can be a statement of philosophy, or a collection of favorites, or set of life instructions. A humble list can be an important instrument of self-examination.
also very satisfying to make lists of favorites: favorite movies, favorite books, favorite traditions, favorite songs. You can also put a twist on it, to make it more interesting.
For example, I’m making a list of my favorite transcendent scenes from movies, moments where I felt a big jolt of pleasure at seeing someone perform some exceptionally kind or generous act -- just because it gives me so much pleasure to call these scenes to mind.
Making a list is a way of figuring out your core ideas—about goals, about memories, about a subject that interests you.
Funny how I recently posted about that list making thing. But you know what? I am all about trying new things (*cough*cough), so I am going to try a list thing after all (guess I need to drop the list "thing" attitude first, right?). I do enjoy the "year end" list of favorites. This year I could totally do a "Things That Sucked" list too!
I am going to start today with an easy list -- places I'd like to visit (to be seen in another post).
